Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Wow its been a long time

So its been over a year and not much has changed.
Same drama
Same bullshit
Same bad choices

God is testing me I DONT know why.
I feel Hella lost. And it sucks cause all I wanna do is move forward.
I used to feel confused about my friend diamonds marriage and relationship.
I didn't understand why she didn't leave rob alone.
But I get it now dude.
She wasn't choosing that life.
He wouldn't let her move on.

You know abusive relationships aren't easy to get out of. A lot of times its impossible!
That's why she had to leave Vegas.
Like I get it now.

If u really wanna get away u have to do big drastic shit.
Because that's the only way u gonna have a chance at it...

I'm sitting here so disappointed in myself...
So mad at my gift
Mad at my belly
Questioning God
Wondering why?

I feel like I'm pregnant by someone who raped me.
I feel so angry because I didn't choose this.

I didn't wanna get stuck being lied to.
Stuck being the fool.

Take on a stalker
Get abused and humiliated
Stolen from
Cheated on

Looking like a fuckin joke in front of everybody.

I miss melo on nights like this...
Nobody has ever made me feel so betrayed.
Nobody has gone thru these lengths to embarrass me
Its all one big show
One big act
One big lie!
I can see the end coming.
I can taste it.
I just have to be smart
And patient
But its coming.
I can't just move anywhere or not think. I have kids and pets that all depend on me. But the happiness and peace...
and it makes me smile