Saturday, July 21, 2012


sooo today was a hard one for all of us

sen had to go back home already :(

but he's gonna be playin football for the first time

he wanted to move back here

but i want him to honor his commitments that he makes to other people

even himself

if you say you gonna do something


so back home he went

he caught the bus by himself which was scary for all of us

we are NOT used to him being a teen

he told his dad when he got there that he wasnt ready to leave us :(

and that he wants us to move back to l.a.

and when amil figured out we were leaving the bus station without sen

she started HITTING everybody and told us to leave her alone!!! she loves sen so much

so i already know everything will work out for the best

i have the UTMOST faith in GOD

what im having a hard time with is this horrible sickness
it just wont give me a break

im steady losing weight

and i cant eat anything :(

praying on it

so anyways everybody enjoy life

thank GOD for how far he's brought you

and isnt that a tragedy about what happened in colorado??

people are truly sick

youngest casualty 6 years old oldest 51

i cant imagine what those families is feeling

you cant even go to a movie opening anymore

who would go through all that trouble?

how much hatred is that???

seems like a lot of SELF hatred projected onto a lot of innocent people

makes me sick

i pray for GODS children

so anyways let me get back to my tea...

hopefully it'll give me some relief and some shut eye after that :)

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


i love everyone who is embracing their natural hair these days

weaves are so played

anyone and everyone can go buy someone elses NICE hair

what about YOUR shit

as you guys know i locked my hair back up

im also using some really nice organic dread soaps lately too

i need things to be gentle on my hair, my daughters and also gentle and kind on the earth

some of my friends are lockin their hair up

always trend setting LOL


although this is my second set of dreads.

i have my first set in a glass vase in my livingroom

and i have all the knowledge from my first set

all of it just made this set so much more gorgeous

so anyways just spreading a little love

my uncle is locking his hair, some other friends and fam

cant wait to see everyone's rockin locks

and people try being more natural

women judge their beauty by what they can put on their face

i can wipe your beauty off

what about YOU is beautiful?

your store bought hair?

your mac make up?

if thats the case anyone can buy those things and be just as beautiful as you

did GOD not create you beautiful as you are?

embrace who you are, what you are

your OWN hair

your real skin tone

Thursday, July 12, 2012

fit for royals

In todays society, dreadlocks are misunderstood. 
They are often thought of as dirty, low-class, representing homelessness, drug use, or a desire to be part of another culture. 

However, the truth is that dreads were often the sign of royalty and holiness throughout history. 

They predate the Jamaican / Rastafarian culture that they are most often associated with today by thousands of years. 

Dreads were worn by kings and pharaohs,
 holy men, 
gurus, and philosophers since the earliest known times. 
They were a part of every civilization, religion and culture.

Dreadlocks were worn by many figures in the bible, as well as famous pharaohs of Egypt;King Tut's dreadlocks still survive to this day.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

remembering my granny

so i was taking a shower earlier and in the bathroom under the sink are my birkenstock's

and i immediately thought of my granny

i decided to share my memory with you~~~

so a few years back, on my granny's LAST trip to oregon to see her brother Jack (rest in peace)
my aunt helen gave my granny a really nice pair of birki's

my granny used to be a sandal wearer, but the older she got and the more times she broke her toes, eventually she just stopped wearing sandals all together

my aunt helen, who ONLY wears sandals LOL BIRKENSTOCKS to the death!!!
gave my granny a pair for her birthday,

so i go over to visit her, im asking about oregon and aunt helen, uncle jack

and she shows me her new shoes

i was ON them they were so cute

so i was like granny can i wear em??

"NO, helen gave me these for my birthday... they're supposed to help my feet"

me: "ok granny"


"hey punkin... try these sandals on, if you like them you can have em."


there wasnt ANYTHING


this woman WOULD NOT DO FOR ME

she showed me day in and day out what TRUE unconditional love was

and because of her

i know HOW to truly love someone and make them feel like they are the only person that matters to me

and i also know how to seek that out

i have a best friend that loves me like that

thank you LORD for blessing me with such an outstanding example of LOVE

i miss u granny ♥ love you

Thursday, July 5, 2012

my gifts

so im sitting here.
loving life
enjoying my morning

and im sitting here thanking GOD
for making me feel worthy

HE has blessed me with so MUCH

i feel like my heart is about to burst

i just cant find anything to complain about right now

and i have to shout it out to the world!!

i have a wonderful, supportive family

gorgeous, smart, kids

i have my health

great friends :)

a nice apartment,

antiques :)

a nice truck

a cool bike and bike trailer (even though i havent been exercising lately)

i had a great camping trip

ive removed BULLSHIT and BULLSHITTERS out my life

havent had a whole ot of drama since last year :)

2012 for the most part has cracked!!!

have never been closer to my bestfriend

she loves me completely and wholly and i couldnt ask for a better person

i dont think she knows how much i love her :)

so anyways just up praising GOD for HIS mercy and understanding

HIS compassion and love.

which i could never live without

LORD i thank YOU today and everyday for your abundance in my life

may YOU forever keep me humble and under YOUR grace

please be merciful to me and understand my pain

my life is in YOUR hands on YOUR terms

never let my stubbornness deceive YOU

KNOW My heart LORD


i worship YOU

take all of me and my family

we are YOURS to mold

let the enemy fall
his plans fail

and let me not be deceived by the devil

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

ive got sunshine

so my rainbow shone down on me for a while today ...

i missed seeing it...

so judgmental...

but i guess we all judge things through our own eyes.

everytime i start running towards my rainbow though...

by the time i get close its GONE

not to bee seen or heard from

like it was never there

there is ALOT i wish i could take back

but im OLD enough to know there is NO rewind button on anything in life

only whats in front of you

i was tired of fighting for this elusive rainbow that i only heard of

i felt like i could never hold it in my arms.

only in my dreams

so why do i long for this rainbow still?

maybe i just long for what for what i think this rainbow will be like if i catch it.

you ever want something so bad that when you get it

it just doesnt live up to what youve built in your mind??


ive said it time and time again

we live in our minds

im not the perfect creature you thought i was

you not perfect either.

the only thing perfect is my rainbow

i have a picture of my rainbow on the wall.

a beautiful picture of perfection...

i have the card you made.

the smile you smiled

i love you...

i know it doesnt mean anything

but it means the world to me.

i sit back and as time passes and more time goes by

the pieces fit together.

even the lies and deceit...

but i still love you

i love the rain before the rainbow

the pieces that never fit together the right way

the way you made everything seem ok

thank you for your ray...

as brief as my rainbow was

it was still there

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

2012 mount charleston

so  i cant get all into it. cuz im pressed for time, on the way to henderson in a few...

BUT camp was such a success!!!

we went to a different part of mt. charleston (i wont tell you which part cuz its MINES ALL MINES)

seriously i dont wanna share wit yall niggas


its way beautiful

super quiet

and less crowded that the other parts of the mountain.
i literally felt like we owned the place

there was no other campers in sight.

we had almost the entire campgrounds to ourselves

we saw lots of wildlife out there

a herd of wild mustangs came extremely close to us LOL

mad squirrels and chipmunks

i was throwing trail mix every where LOL

they LOVE me

they was eating everything i throw

nuts, raisins, lemons, you name it

i learned how TO GRILL FINALLY!!!!

no more asking a MAN for fresh grilled food!!!


i been gettin my grill ON!!!! fuckin chicken hot dogs, chicken burgers, turkey burgers, beef steaks LOL

ALL baby!!!!!

so anyways we're back (for now)

and im tired

i need to rest for a while

then back to normal life :)

proud of someone very special to me ♥


i see you

i know youre there baby

see you when i see you ♥

even if its next lifetime

bye everybody

enjoy life

im enjoying it

even amongst my morning sickness and barfing everywhere
 make due with what GOD gave you