so im sitting here enjoying a quiet morning to myself,\
kinda in thought.
im been talking to GOD alot and im trying to see whos being sent to me as a distraction and who is sent to me from GOD
you know its crazy in life we end these relationships, friendships and bonds
and we think we're never gonna see that person, talk to them, hear their voice
and then outta nowhere they are shoved back into your life
i recently got back in touch with the first boyfriend i ever had,
my "first" u know (v word)
this man has professed love for me for over 15 years.
even though we loose contact, we always reconnect
he has been literally calling my children his kids for 12 years.
after i had my oldest son, he always embraced him
and to this day
he embraces me and all 3 of my kids
he wants kids with me
he wants a daughter LOL he got sons but no girl
he said he wants to look at me forever
take care of me forever
make up for the past 15 years
he says ive been fighting it for too long and that we should be together
he wants to move in
be a family
he wants everything i want
so why isnt my decison easy??
have i been fighting him for 15 years?
are we truly soul mates, meant to be together and take care of each other until we have to go back home to GOD?
ive always been the sole provider for my kids.
well KAY and i
we're kinda like a team lol
im laughing right now cuz our family is very abstract
but i know that i need someone in my life for ME
i deserve it
and if theres someone
willing to sell their soul almost
break there back day in and day out just to see you smile
y would i deny myself that??
maybe it IS time for me to let my gaurds down and really see where this can go
because in this life you have to have someone everyday to support you and build up what the world has stripped from you
someone to nurture you and uplift your soul
someone that can make you feel like the richest woman alive
the most beautiful
the most capable
i dont think that i am any of these things
but i know someone that thinks i am ALL of those things
his attraction to me before was kinda annoying i have to be real
but when u realize that there are very few people that will put you ahead of themselves,
all the calls and texts, and messages back and forth dont seem so annoying anymore
it makes me feel special
that out of his busy day he still has time to call
that he asks about "his" kids
he hasnt ever seen a picture of me and hasnt told me i wasnt beautiful
he's never seen me in person and hadnt done everything in his power to make me blush
maybe its time to update the requirements i give myself
cuz i am a DAMN good woman
with a heart of gold
and i need someone that knows that
and realizes it
if a man wants to leave nothing can make him stay.
and when a man truly loves you, nothing can keep him away ♥
u have to have someone that you can talk to
feel safe to be embarrassed around
you have to be able to tell them your deepest fears
cry on them
is how your souls are gonna stay connected
without communication you have NOTHING
my heart thought i had something
but it was deceiving me
because like i said without communication you have NOTHING
and i lost the communication with this person
the road split
but thats ok,
it just means that we are on 2 different roads
and when that happens
naturally the next step is loss of communication
loss of the bond
loss of love
communication can be the difference between you telling the story about "the one"
and "the one who got away"
share you soul with people