so you guys know i poured my little heart out the other day,
and then the next day like some lowkey shit went down
so im thinking i got a bad sign
totally the OPPOSITE of what i was asking GOD
and i was kinda mad about the shit
then GOD spoke to me thru someone else
and the message HE delivered almost made my cry
tears of sheer JOY
because now i know that everything ive been doing the past few years isnt in vein
and i feel like the plan that i had once built
the plan that faded
suddenly jumped right back in front of me
my hope came back
because i had lost ALL hope
i lost faith in love
and anybody that knows me
knows, im a hopeless romantic
LMAO like forreal tho
and that part of me had died.
and ima tell u smething even MORE personal
yall all know about my abstinence,
its been apart of my spiritual journey...
but lately ive been going out on dates, at least trying to open up to people
and i didnt even want to do that anymore.
i totally cut myself off from intimacy
and i couldnt figure out why,
im not anti sexual
anyone who knows me (extremely extremely well)
knows im not a prude like that
but lately i WAS that very prude
i thought that i was uncomfortable with closeness and intimacy but im not
i only want it with one person
and GOD needs me to be patient right now
and to continue to have faith in HIM
and the reason i know that he's the one
is because just at the thought of it all
i flutter ♥
i wish i could hear your laugh right now babe.
i will soon enough
i will forever
GOD has ordained us.
i have no fear.
i have complete FAITH in YOU
i hope that you have faith in me also
cuz even tho i miss you
i will knock the hell outta u if you try to trip when u see me ;)
i loooooooooove you to no end my guy
i aint even gonna get on the reality and the dirtiness of it all
cuz that shit had me crying earlier
another man had to try to make me smile after that
but you trust him with all your soul
so i know you wont mind
its gonna take me some time to get over that one
but i love you
so im gonna have to shake it
cuz you have the rest of your life to make it up to me and the kids
u have to make it up to santana too cuz he is so hurt
he'll never tell you
but he was disappointed when you didnt come when u said you were.
we all were crushed.
but anyways i hope to see you soon.
im holding the family down in your absence.