Sunday, September 18, 2011

a talk with my dad

soo, as some of you may know
i recently met my dad for the first time this year...

today i had my first like ♥ to ♥ talk i guess you could call it lol

it feels very different getting and hearing a mans prospective because men and women handle things so differently,

but it felt good.

i heard what he said.
i believe him.

ive felt in my heart the very words he said so long ago.

he only gave me confirmation.

it takes a long time for little boys to grown up, no matter how mature you call yourself being.

i havent met a real MAN in a long long time.

i came close but NO cigar. :(

but i definitely have a man backing me now, and he AINT to be fucked with lmaoo

CERTIFIED STRIPES dont even play, or fool yourself.

and thats all i need.

somebody keepin all these fake ass, wanna be ass, clown ass, BLOW POPS out the way!!

somebody is batting for me.

i can relax.

he said my heart is NOT to be played with.

and its not.

thank you LORD for everything
for today
right now
my blessings
my life
my air
my breath
the blood flowing through my body

may i forever be in YOUR mercy
and YOUR grace.

thank YOU for bringing me this far

self pep talk

hang in there Chase, storms never last forever

Love yourself as much as you can

Live the life the Lord has already created for you in His Name.

never accept substandard treatment, even from those that you expected the best from.

Realize when someone isnt right for you
take the steps to continue your own happiness

Dont depend on anyone

Be strong in moments of weakness.

Continue to learn about yourself and your history

The devil is only trying to distract you from the Lord's blessings.
Dont let him make you fall short of God's glory.

say what you mean and mean what you say

dont bluff

make Hard decisions in despite of controversy.

STOP reaching out to unavailable people.

SEE them for who they are.

Know that you cant change people

they are who they are.

you either have to accept them as is.

or walk away.

know that just because its hurting now, you wont hurt forever.


GOD said you are worth More than rubies!!!

dont degrade yourself.

never let a man hold you down or keep you down.

a man isnt a man if he isnt empowering you.

making you FEEL like every bit of the woman you truly are!


leave eveything in JESUS' hands and you wont go wrong.

if GOD has taken someone away from you,
let them stay gone.

I know you might miss them at times,
but theyre better left in the past.

you dont need their love
depend on GOD

GOD loves you when youre at your best, your worst.
whether youre right or wrong.

you can always depend on HIM

HIS shoulders are broader than anyone you will ever know

cry out to HIM

HE hears

HE answers.

not all of the answers will be what we want to hear,
but its what we need to hear.

Follow the LORD

you are forever HIS baby.

no one else has to know your worth but HIM.

i love you chase

Monday, September 12, 2011

seasons changing

the seasons are changing again.

another year GONE

everything is evolving

progression for the ones moving in the right direction

ive been bonding with alot of important people

especially MEN

who IM SURE will play a very vital role in MY life,

my kids lives, from now until forever.

im working on family ties.

everyone else is working on their intimate relationships...

am i totally crazy because im shying away from all that?

i dont have time for that.

theres so much else to worry about,

and plus everybody i know is really unhappy in their relationships

they lie to each other, argue, cheat.

why do all that?

why not just be single and live the single life

which is essentially what you're still doing

your mate just doesnt know it.

i APPLAUD anyone who is in a loving, committed, trusting relationship or marriage.

cause that takes ALOT of work.

understanding, time, communication, sacrifice, teamwork,

its a very intricate combination
and its TOUGH

thats why i cant devote any of myself to that right now.

with all the changes in my life over the past year i dont know if i EVER wanna do that, i dont know lol

it would have to be a TRUE ACT OF GOD!!!!

through GOD ALL things are possible.

i wish everyone luck on their endeavors.

im gonna start thinking of my new years resolution...

its almost been a year since i stopped smoking.

i did that!!!! now i gotta work on something else.

im exercising

biking, boxing, yoga

so it might take me a little while to decide what my next move will be

ive decided against henderson. so thats a load off

i cant believe halloween is around the corner

then turkey day and CHRISTMAS :)

then the year is over man

another year knocking on our doorstep

what have you accomplished this year?

what have you done that would move GOD?

what have you done that GOD sees?

think about these things and make changes in your life

2moro may never come.

make today count.

enjoy GOD ♥


well, the family is gone and extended famm :(

that shit was fun tho!!

everyone had a GREAT time!!!

now we're talkin thanksgiving or Christmas...

YEA!!! my house is one of the holiday spots!!! ♥♥♥

didnt really none of us sleep

we took naps n shit

me n tweet was goin hard with the movies.

goin to sleep at 5am LOL

everybody was sleepin everywhere lol

they finally learned the secret to how NOT to make amil hate you lol

there was so much love in the house.


extremely favored in the LORD's eyes ♥

thank you JESUS

so back to normal life for now.

school, homework etc

but we are definitely planning another trip!!!

and anyone that knows me, knows that if u got love from me theres no problem wit stayin at my house when you're in town etc.

if i love you and i consider you fam,

how would i make you stay anywhere else??

anyways food for thought


out of towners comin out here to gett tattooed

please call ahead n schedule ahead of time so there wont be any confusion or conflict of schedules

Saturday, September 10, 2011


soooooo today was Santana man 8th birthday.

and it WENT OFF!!!!

it was incredibly fun, unpredictable, ghetto lol

a little bit of everything

i am SOOOO tired

im working off of 2 hours of sleep

everything went liked i hoped and even better

these kids were like,

"i like your house"

"this is the best party ever"

"i love you"

amil had a blast!!!

everyone did!!!

sen, santana, amil

and everyone else in attendance.

the cake....

we had oils, and oil burners.

pizza, bread, spaghetti, garlic bread, salad.

juice, juice for the adults ;) lol

a pinata which went ghetto as all get out lmaoooo

the shakeyata we shoulda callt it

they partied for HOURS

im tired and my bones hurt

my ankle is in dire need of something, i just dont know what

and i feel like i can sleep for a week...


to see Santana's smile on his face when he woke up and saw his brother and granny, papa. tweety bird ♥♥♥

you couldnt pay me a trillion dollars to give that one second up

and all the other kids sayin they love me is just a bonus

you woulda thought we had jay z at the house how flattered they were.

so day one is down.

2moro we hittin the outlets,

maybe i can get me another coach purse *hopefully* lol

anyways let me enjoy this weekend while it last.

every dang gone second ♥

plus my bed is callin me


its short

Friday, September 9, 2011

my lizard

So, im sittin on the fone talkin wit my bestfriend like i do everynight

and i see a teeny tiny lizard scurry across my floor!!!

now i been living in las vegas for around 7 years off and on.

and ive NEVER EVER seen a lizard in vegs


so im thinking mybe its some kind of sing... maybe GOD talking to me in a subtle way

so i do a little diggin on the net and here is SOME of what i found.


In myths and lore, Lizard is associated with dreaming. Dreams awaken our unconscious mind and make us aware of issues we haven't been ready to face in our conscious lives. Lizard appears when we need to analyze our present reality and brings the message for immediate change in some area of our life. This change can represent letting go of old ideas or negative behaviors which endanger our growth.

The behavioral pattern of the lizard has inspired various beliefs, myths and legends associated with the Sun. In Egypt, it is said that in spring the lizards will climb an eastward facing wall and look to the east. When the Sun rises, the lizard's sight and the sight of some blinded person, will is returned. Lizards have been associated with extreme heat in the Near East and in Australia, the aboriginal believed that the sky would fall if you killed one.

In ancient Egypt and Greek symbolism the lizard represented divine wisdom and good fortune. This was especially true of the reverence for Serapes and Hermes. In Roman mythology, lizards supposedly sleep through the winter and so symbolize both death and resurrection. Early Christianity associated the lizard with the devil and with evil. While on the Pacific islands of Polynesia and Maoris lizards are revered as a "heaven god."

i had lost my first draft you guys im sorry

but everything happens for a reason

anyways he ran from the living room area and he ran over under neath my tattooing stuff

so i moved the shelf and he actually stood still long enough for me to steal 2 pictures of him

now he was extremely small now bigger than an inch

if i wouldnt have been looking at that exact spot at that exact time i wouldve missed him...

but i didnt ♥♥♥

i dont know what it means

but when it comes to GOD he says

"lean not toward your own understanding"

by the way.... i am EXTREMELY sorry about the discoloration of the text. etc. i have no idea why it keeps doin that

Thursday, September 8, 2011


you know im sittin here this morning.
and first of all im totally stoked because a long time friend of the family
and wonderful lady named tweety is gonna be blessing us with her presence this weekend, along with my mom, her man, my oldest son, and im not sure who all else is gonna be able to come
i know my ex husband some of my in laws (if u will)
mecca n jameel is out this way too but anyways gettin off the subject

i just feel REALLY blessed that all these wonderful people are comin out to make Santana's birthday really special to him ♥

its ALL a total surprise to him
he has no idea about any of this so i can just see the smile smacked across his face when he sees his folks

i know its gonna be one of those weekends that people talk about forever
a memory engraved in my heart ♥

i almost wanna cry.

ive lived here in the same apartment for 5 years and ive never had my family over.
let alone extended family, its gonna be so special to me.

i want it to be 2moro already.

im like a kid on Christmas

and im even worse than Santana cuz i know that everyones coming he doesnt
so im all EXTRA anxious.


i cant believe GOD has BLESSED me with this.

it feels so good.

when you stop letting the devil worry you everything gets better

when you allow GOD to do his work HE WILL.

we're SO BUSY blocking our own blessings its ridiculous

we are truly our own worst enemies sometimes.

but not me
not anymore

GOD take control
and steer my life, my choices and my blessings.

thank you for the gift of this weekend.

may everything go YOUR way ♥ i love you

Monday, September 5, 2011

its cold outside

i really cant stay * but baby its cold outside*
ive got to go away *baby its cold outside*
this evening has been *been hoping that you'd drop in*
so very nice *i'll hold your hands, there just like ice*
my mother will start to worry *beautiful whats your hurry?*
and father will be pacing the floor *listen to that fireplace roar*
so really i'd better scurry *beautiful please dont hurry*
we maybe just a half a drink more ;) *put some records on while i pour*

the neighbors might think *baby its bad out there*
say whats in this drink *no cabs to be had out there*
i wish i knew how *your eyes are like star light*
to break the spell *i'll take your hat, your hair looks swell*
i ought to say no no no sir *mind if i move in closer?*
at least im gonna say that i tried *whats the sense in hurting my pride?*
i really cant stay *baby dont hold out*
aww but its cold outside

i simply must go *but baby its cold outside*
the answer is no *baby its cold side*
this welcome has been *how lucky that you dropped in*
so nice and warm *look out the window at that storm*
my sister will be suspicious *gosh your lips look delicious*
my brother will be there at the door *waves upon tropical shore*
my maiden aunt's mind is viscous *boy your lips look delicious*
well maybe just a cigarette more *never such a pleasure before*

ive got to home *baby youll freeze out there*
say lend me your coat *its up to your knees out there*
youve really been grand, *im sure when you touch my hand*
but you dont see *how can you do this thing to me?*
there's bound to be talk tomorrow *think of my life long sorrow*
at least there will be plenty implied *if you caught pneumonia and died* (lol)
i really cant stay *get over that hold out*
aw but its cold outside *


Sunday, September 4, 2011

reason, season, or lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.