Friday, August 19, 2011

journey

not sure where to go from here,

not sure where to go.

i feel like i need to start making different decisions

im still stuck on the same old people

but they havent changed...

you cant change people anyway,
i know better than that.

so i force myself to move on. delete your number out my fone...

ignore texts.

grit my teeth and say goodbye

i cant ignore a perfectly good man for you

you make no effort.

i need someone who likes to see me everyday

he does.

someone who comes over when i feel sick

like him.

so dont call me anymore

dont text me

because im not gonna spend another minute letting you lie to me

fool me

tell me what you think i wanna hear

ive know n you long enough to know its all bullshit

you have a very bright future

im just not in it

here is where our roads split

driving us farther and farther apart

there is no common ground

and theres nothing to "check on"

lets not let our minds wander through grey area

life is confusing enough as it is
without 2 confused assholes fooling themselves into thinking they have anything left to talk about.

i wish i had more closure sure...

cuz it seems like things went from in love

to ice cold.

but those are the seasons of love i suppose

or maybe just lust

maybe i havent found or experienced true love yet

there hasnt been a man i havent had the balls to leave!

i have no problem chucking up the duece
locking my door

and sealing that bitch

so maybe that man hasnt graced me yet...

im not gonna ever settle

i'll die alone before i do that shit

i see all these unhappy people in these miserable relationships and i ask myself why??

i also ask myself how i stayed in my fucked up relationship for so long so....

it shows you what i know.

but im different than most cuz i leave when im not happy

and i continue to search for the happiness GOD intended for me :)

so its definitely not a bad thing that im single because my future husband is out there somewhere.

maybe we've met already

maybe not...

its all a great surprise waiting for me at my next turn

on this short road called life

this really young guy tried to talk to me today.

i dont think he's even old enough to drink.

cant do it.

no younggins, no kids, no baby mamas, no dope boys, no weed dealers,

dont even step to me

you gotta have your shit together if you want a woman like me

i KNOW my worth

and i know that i dont have to live my life arguing, and chasing after a lousy nigga tryna figure out what they doin all day long

i just want a regular guy

some one who wakes up and goes to work and goes home afterward

someone who wants me to wash clothes, cook and clean

and handle the other stuff ;)

a partner

somebody to clown with

to be down with

to talk about things with

someone to make decisions

someone who has a HEAD ON THEIR SHOULDERS

a strong sense of self.

not someone who is defined by their "friends"

yes you need to have a car

yes you need to also take care of the responsibilities of having a car

insurance, registration... read about that shit

have something worthy about yourself

who are you outside of your friends?

people in my age group are way too OLD to be at the club chasing what??

do you know how stupid you look?

its time for people to be on their grown man!

im definitely finna be on my grown woman!

im FINALLY divorced after almost 13 years wheeeew LOL

(deep breathe)

so im on the market now low key lmaoooo

just in time :)

GODS TIME

my brother just got married, my sister a year ago, my other brother is getting married soon...

i think im ready to move on to the next phase in life and start slowing down

CHOOSING UP

time to choose up basically

im checking resumes lol

credentials

and we'll see where i land...

off i go on another great journey!!!

the pursuit of happyness ♥♥♥