Monday, August 29, 2011

first day of 3rd grade

so its the first day of school

santana is READY, lol

he picked out his uniform clothes and laid them out already

he got his shoes he's so proud of LOL

he been showing them off to EVERYBODY LOL

all the homies know what his shoes lookin like

LMAOOOO

so its bye bye summer and back to the grindin

the homework lol

awwww well.

so santanas birthday is coming up and we have a great big surprise for him

MY LIPS R SEALED

the RIGHT PEOPLE KNOW!!!!!

its gonna be exciting!!!!

fun fun fun

yea baby

8 years old *time FLIES*

so anyways just letting a couple things off my chest

as USUAL i cant sleep

and NO i havent been sleep all day lol

i been up rippin and runnin and gettin santana ready for TODAY

amil gonna be mad,

sen left

now santana goin bacc to school

she finna be pissed!!!

i gotta find her something to do.

like have a play partner or something

she aint finna be wearin me ragged lol

so anyways i guess i'll try to lay down

or maybe it'll be one of those sleepless nights when i get to watch the sun rise


whatever the case you gotta thank the LORD for another day

thank you JESUS ♥

thank you for the millions of blessings i see everyday

you are an awesome GOD

Saturday, August 27, 2011

disrespectful

so i go on one of my social network pages.

and i see someone calling someone else a derogatory name

hoodrat or whatever

and i just have to say it doesnt speak very loudly about you as a man when you call a woman names

regardless of what she is,

it only makes you look bad
especially when you doin it on a social network in front of people

it doesnt feel good when someone calls you anything

and men truly have there nerve

when half the state has been in their pants

all im sayin is.

both to men and women

i hope you grow up fast enough to know that while you think you're clownin the "hoodrat" or whatever else

you're only clowning yourself

that type of discipline only comes with wisdom and age

and unfortunately some never even see the root of their ways

women, i also encourage you to remember that unfortunately men are going to judge you by standards that they dont hold themselves to

and to not feel bad about yourself.

the only one that can judge you is GOD

when i read the remark it quickly took me to a point that i had lived before

a mirrored moment

and i remembered how i ended up being single...

someone speaking to me in that very way.

and he sounded just like this guy
it coulda been this guys twin

and it shook me

it startled me

and i hope i remember this moment forever

because i had forgotten it

it had gotten lost in the land of forgotten memories

and i need to remember it

how it felt to have someone call me a name

someone that said he loved me

how disrespected i felt

how low he tried to make me feel

and i never ever wanna feel that way again

the last time we talked he asked me why i sounded like i had an attitude


i didnt know at the time.

but maybe its because he treated me unjustly
was judgemental
and called me names

what is there to be all chipper about when you call?

it tears me up inside because to this day i still miss this man

or maybe i just miss what kind of man i thought he was
nevertheless

im glad that today i am reminded of who he SHOWED me he was

and i can take alot but i cant be constantly disrespected

i pray for the women that end up with men like this and i also pray that men, you can see your hurtful ways


men have thicker skin than women

call the gurl a hoodrat to your boys if its that deep you have to say it out loud

but belittling her on a social network, at her job,

at thanksgiving, the babys birthday party
the store or wherever
etc etc

is not the place or the venue

stop disrespecting yourself men

and women the same

go 4what u know

wow, so ive been talking to alot of people lately

lots of family and friends goin thru relationship stuff

nobody's happy

i know i dont need to remind anyone that life is TOO short

say what you gotta say,

do what you gotta do

to be HAPPY

dont seek APPROVAL from anyone

its YOUR life

so LIVE IT

however remember to keep everything in prospective

KNOW when GOD is blessing you

and when a "blessing" or distraction rather is coming from the devil

when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

i try to be happy every single day

i spent a large chunk of my life sad, and unhappy

and one day i just said i cant take it anymore

i changed my outlook on my life

and i started to appreciate the many blessings GOD graced me with and it opened my eyes

and started to FEEL happier because i knew what i had

and what i had that others didnt

and how other people envied some of the things i had

the very things that i was taking for granted.

i was talking to someone one time and i was like dam dae im depressed

n he was like "why??"

"you have your own place, a nice car, you get to stay home, you have beautiful kids... whats to be sad about?"


and i started thinking...

what the hell is there to be sad about?

IM TRIPPIN

and i wanted to see my life the way dae did.

and once i did, i started to feel really good about myself

and all it takes sometimes is a change of view on your present circumstances

it can change your entire world

your life

i encourage every woman and every man to strive for their happiness everyday

make the changes you need to make

take those chances

be scared

laugh all day, dont be afraid

make a fone call to someone who makes you feel happy

there's a million ways to give yourself happiness

yet millions of people seek happiness in another person

you cant get that all the time

people arent gonna be at their best everyday

you cant hold them responsible for your happiness YOU control that

if you live a miserable life its because YOU choose to live like that

you wallow in your misery

change that shit up

GOD didnt create his children for you to be unhappy

SEEK what GOD has already given YOU

open your eyes and see differently


if youve been making the same choices all your life

and youre STILL miserable it might be time to change your choices

your style

your swag

your mentality

go 4what you know

life is short

and time is running away from you

theres no dress rehearsals in life

you only get ONE shot

make it count ♥

Friday, August 26, 2011

abstinence

so as a few people know over the past few years ive been abstinent.

i fell off the horse one time. but everybody makes mistakes...

not that it was a "mistake"

i just wasnt ready.

you know when you hold onto your sexual worth

it becomes harder and harder to give away because you realize how valuable it is

being out there on the promiscuous tip isnt cute for a woman OR a man

but especially a woman

know your worth.

theres so much more to concentrate on right now.

both the boys finna be back in school.

santana birthday comin up soon.

then halloween, thanksgiving and my birthday, christmas.

my ankle, surgery, disability, ssi, tattoos, my health

the kids' health.

new years valentines day lol

my car finna be paid off THANK YOU LORD!!!

i cant even seem to focus in on anything

its all a blunder

and trying to focus on anything more than that is really just an overload to me.

its not an easy choice.

but i know its the right one.

so i dont feel bad about it.

i feel like when the time is right.

everything will happen naturally.

i hate when people "plan" to have sex

like theres so much pressure

what happened to spontaneity??

anyways i just wanted to share a deeper more secret part of myself.

something i rarely do

but i am ashamed not

i am an example

i wanna know who's gonna stick around without a physical part

thats the one who's worth the final prize :)

ladies : you ALWAYS have a right to say no

not to night or whatever

never feel pressured into sex by ANYONE

its rape! if u say no

put yourself on a pedestal

put your heart on a pedestal

your vag lol on a pedestal

its ok to take things slow
it takes a LONG time to know somebody fully

it takes a lifetime ♥

enjoy life everybody

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

decisions



so i went back to my orthopedic surgeon yesterday
because almost 7months later im still having alot of pain

and still taking very strong pain pills.

addictive pain pills...

soo,

one of my screws protrudes quite a bit under the skin and can be seen very obviously

i asked him why and why i was having so much pain

and he says some of the sutures didnt dissolve
so they want to go back into my ankle and they wanna give me another surgery which i am NOT feeling

that sucks cuz its basically live with the pain or have another surgery which isnt a fair choice.

i didnt even get to have my initial surgery until 2 weeks after my break

so a second surgery seems pretty outta the picture for now

i been living with pain for 6 months now anyways

what if it still doesnt get better after tHAT?

what if it gets worse?? u feel me?

i already feel half crippled cuz i got a bum right arm and now a bum ankle...

you know you can die in surgery man.

so i might jus have to take my chances,

im weighing my options

its not an easy decision to make.

everything has to be taken into account.

so with that being said...

im gonna try to go back to sleep.

take my pills and drift bac off into dream land

where everything makes sense until we wake up ♥

my kinda world

Monday, August 22, 2011

im single

and loving it i might add...

theres just something about the freedom to do absolutely whatever you want!!!

it took me a lil while to get used to because i was in a relationship for so long but once i started to realize what i had let go and what i was gaining
i started to feel alot better.

plus all my friends that WERE in relationships or marriages were miserable.

and i didnt want to live that kinda life.

i could have been married a few times.

i turned down a proposal or two.
it just didnt feel right.

well besides the fact that i just got divorced in june... lol

but i still woulda said no anyways

you cant settle man

you know what i asked my best friend something cuz she prolly knows me better than anyone in the world, other than GOD and myself

and she knows what and who i have goin on in my life, what ive had

and i asked her if she thinks im supposed to be with any of them and why she thinks im not with them

and if i should just go ahead and give in and say fuck it

and be with one of them

she said that i should be with some one "who makes my heart♥ RACE"

then she told me a person who USED to make my heart race and she made a comparison...

so whoever i end up with, has to make my heart just burst outta my chest

they have to be thoughtful
and they have to realize that i am a packaged deal, i come with three loving kids

and they have to respect and love them

want the absolute best for them

bend over backward for them as i do

if anyone can get passed santana then they're a keeper
cuz he's CUTTHROAT and i dont even give a fuck that he is

he's LOOKIN OUT FOR HIS MAMA

and he's had people make promises to both me and him
and they never came thru for either of us

so i think he's learning at an early age how to read people
and i partially trust his judgement because kids are very perceptive

they see alot that we adults dont

i think to make me see ANY man in a different light you have to have a big heart....

towards me

you have to understand where i come from
my background and be very sensitive to it

because im a very sensitive person

when you love someone you love ALL of them

the good and the BAD

the bad is even more important,
cuz thats when the true test of love steps in...

will you stick around?

all of these questions are exactly why i cant be in a relationship with anyone right now

because i have no time to wonder all day and night

i have 3 kids to take care of and worry about

i have a business to worry about

and ive been in relationships for a while

i think its finally time to take time out for ME

im not worried about NOBODY

me n the kids are enough.

so with that being said
women dont be afraid to stand on your own to feet

its very attractive to men when they see you taking care of yourself and holding shit down

thats the kind of woman they want

dont be afraid to leave a bad relationship

especially an ABUSIVE, or VIOLENT relationship

please think about yourself, your kids and your life

know that there is always someone to talk to

enjoy life everyone

make smart decisions!!!!

GOD first
Family follows

Sunday, August 21, 2011

up and alone

enjoying the music

the alcohol lol

and the smoke.

gonna do a rest in peace name 2moro for an o.g.'s mom

she passed on wednesday... my sons birthday

they say all energy is borrowed.

someone has to go for another to be able to have life..

do you believe it??

it touches me when i do these types of tattoos because theyre so personal

i told o.g. that he'll be in my prayers

as will his mother who i never had the pleasure of meeting

life is so short people

so fragile
unpredictable

no one is garunteed 2moro

the foolish people squander their blessings away

having nothing left for "2moro"

no family,
no loved ones

because they were so horrible to people before

now people are horrible to them

please people dont spend your life giving up your joy to anyone

appreciate the miracles that are before you

when you dont recognize how GOD blesses you

he takes your blessings

maybe he will take your sight since you have a problem seeing (food for thought)

anyways im just up and taking the time to write out whats important to me

i hope it touches someone

just one person

then it will have been worth it

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

spread love not hate

be a lover not a hater

and continue to be as blessed as you are 2day ♥♥♥

because you are truly blessed in so many ways

Friday, August 19, 2011

Step father

with the change of times and the way people think

old, traditional lifestyles where mom and dad stay together no matter what,

are no longer thought of

or maybe it is (i seek it) sometimes its just the wrong person wrong time

any who...

with the change of times, more and more mixed families
unconventional are MAINSTREAM and very much the NORM

so we have a lot of "step" mothers and fathers...

that are vital roles in these families

the future

and i think its important to stress the fact of how IMPORTANT you guys are

in some instances you are taking the FULL load because the other parent is absent and not in the picture at all

for some you may share a responsibility

my ex husband just recently got remarried and our son is currently living in their home

im sure that his wife knows that responsibility

im know for sure that his dad does.

but its that understanding that is very difficult for some

now im not an expert

me and kay had a long bumpy road before we found even ground.

we even bump heads at times now

but we always get passed it.

it takes a village to raise a child

it takes a whole community

it takes courage

from step mothers and step fathers

people who have to look into themselves and love a child AS THEIR OWN

now a lot of people might CLAIM that they do this or have done it
but let me tell you its a lot easier said than done

i was with someone who swore he loved my son as his own,

yet every time we got into it, its well then i wont deal with your son....

NOT WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

parenting isnt some choice you can walk away from when you're mad

its TRUE MARRIAGE

thick and thin good or bad.

when they crash your car, set the house on fire

go to jail,

get drunk

fail a class
EVERYTHING

theyre still yours

and if you can walk away from a child that you claim to love as your own

then you dont really love them the way you think you do im sorry.

thats why its such a GREAT responsibility

because it is forever

these step kids are your future

theyre gonna give you grand kids

these are YOUR KIDS

i dont know many step children that even address their step parents in that manner

when they get introduced

its MOM AND DAD

so just remember everyone when you attempt to deal with a woman or a man who has children what you are taking on

its a beautiful thing

but it takes REAL MEN and WOMEN do to a job so tedious

it doesnt pay LOL

just pays with love

wrinkles around your mouth from smiling

wisdom

you teaching your kids and your kids teaching you

football practice

games

cheer leading uniforms

fund raisers

hopefully no broken bones but i have 2 boys...

i thank you all for the job you take on

and what you give to your kids

the future

when you do your job right

they have absolutely no absence in their life

my mom is adopted so i never got to meet my real grand mother and grand father

but the grandparents i had

gave me more love than any one i could have ever imagined

i couldn't have imagined my life without them and i never felt like i was missing anything because i never was

they were my angels

and YOU

YOU STEP MOTHERS AND FATHERS

are angels for your children

thank you for loving these kids

may GOD bless in ways unimaginable to you

I LOVE YOU ALL GOD BLESS YOU

journey

not sure where to go from here,

not sure where to go.

i feel like i need to start making different decisions

im still stuck on the same old people

but they havent changed...

you cant change people anyway,
i know better than that.

so i force myself to move on. delete your number out my fone...

ignore texts.

grit my teeth and say goodbye

i cant ignore a perfectly good man for you

you make no effort.

i need someone who likes to see me everyday

he does.

someone who comes over when i feel sick

like him.

so dont call me anymore

dont text me

because im not gonna spend another minute letting you lie to me

fool me

tell me what you think i wanna hear

ive know n you long enough to know its all bullshit

you have a very bright future

im just not in it

here is where our roads split

driving us farther and farther apart

there is no common ground

and theres nothing to "check on"

lets not let our minds wander through grey area

life is confusing enough as it is
without 2 confused assholes fooling themselves into thinking they have anything left to talk about.

i wish i had more closure sure...

cuz it seems like things went from in love

to ice cold.

but those are the seasons of love i suppose

or maybe just lust

maybe i havent found or experienced true love yet

there hasnt been a man i havent had the balls to leave!

i have no problem chucking up the duece
locking my door

and sealing that bitch

so maybe that man hasnt graced me yet...

im not gonna ever settle

i'll die alone before i do that shit

i see all these unhappy people in these miserable relationships and i ask myself why??

i also ask myself how i stayed in my fucked up relationship for so long so....

it shows you what i know.

but im different than most cuz i leave when im not happy

and i continue to search for the happiness GOD intended for me :)

so its definitely not a bad thing that im single because my future husband is out there somewhere.

maybe we've met already

maybe not...

its all a great surprise waiting for me at my next turn

on this short road called life

this really young guy tried to talk to me today.

i dont think he's even old enough to drink.

cant do it.

no younggins, no kids, no baby mamas, no dope boys, no weed dealers,

dont even step to me

you gotta have your shit together if you want a woman like me

i KNOW my worth

and i know that i dont have to live my life arguing, and chasing after a lousy nigga tryna figure out what they doin all day long

i just want a regular guy

some one who wakes up and goes to work and goes home afterward

someone who wants me to wash clothes, cook and clean

and handle the other stuff ;)

a partner

somebody to clown with

to be down with

to talk about things with

someone to make decisions

someone who has a HEAD ON THEIR SHOULDERS

a strong sense of self.

not someone who is defined by their "friends"

yes you need to have a car

yes you need to also take care of the responsibilities of having a car

insurance, registration... read about that shit

have something worthy about yourself

who are you outside of your friends?

people in my age group are way too OLD to be at the club chasing what??

do you know how stupid you look?

its time for people to be on their grown man!

im definitely finna be on my grown woman!

im FINALLY divorced after almost 13 years wheeeew LOL

(deep breathe)

so im on the market now low key lmaoooo

just in time :)

GODS TIME

my brother just got married, my sister a year ago, my other brother is getting married soon...

i think im ready to move on to the next phase in life and start slowing down

CHOOSING UP

time to choose up basically

im checking resumes lol

credentials

and we'll see where i land...

off i go on another great journey!!!

the pursuit of happyness ♥♥♥

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

happy birthday SENIKAH

12 years ago today at approx, 3:45 am i became a mom

to the most sensitive young man i know, my son senikah

it definitely doesnt feel like 12 years has passed.

it feels like i took a blink and a smart, young man appeared before me...

one that called me mom.

i cant believe i have a pre-teen...

he cant wait until next year of course when he has a "teen" after his age...

he's so intelligent

(just like me) *wink* lol

he looks just like his grandfather.

i couldve have asked GOD himself to create a better son for me

and i couldnt ask for a better time this summer, we had a BLAST!!!

he just got on a plane an hour ago.

his dad should be picking him up AS WE SPEAK.

i was so sad to see him go :(

and santana of course and amil were goin thru it...

but i told them he was comin back, and we might go out there if we get a chance.

but i have to admit the house feels a LOT emptier :(

but i got my wish

thank you LORD

i got to spend my baby's birthday with him (at least part of it)

we ate cake n everything and he made a wish
n he promised not to tell us so it would come true :)

our summer was magical

today was magical

and sen is magical

well he's getting older now, he likes to be called senikah

i love him so much wit his big ole self! almost taller than me

but NEVA too big to go ova mamas knee lol

anyways hap hap happiest birthday shots out to my son

and many many many more to come

I LOVE YOU SENIKAH

Monday, August 15, 2011

where do we go from here?

im sittin here and im trying to figure out a few things...

emotions of the heart

u ever miss someone,
but when you where dealing with them you brought out the worst in them?

or at least it felt that way?

there's nothing worse than feeling unwanted or unloved from the person that you're in love with.

but i guess certain people come in and out of our live's for good reasons

it's all in GOD's hands

i dont profess or pretend to be in control of anything

i know that miracles are real

people re conciliate everyday

im gonna try not to stress about it.

not even think about it

(if i can)

im gonna stay focused and stay on the path that ive been on because thus far it's brought me to a good place

if it's not broke dont fix it!

anyways jus wanted to get a few words off of my chest

its alot goin on

its gonna take even longer to sort out...

and what about if someone has an interest in you

some one smart, motivated

owns their own business

no kids

great catch all in all...

how do you decide from whats right

and what you're conflicted with?

they say insanity is making the same choices, doing the same thing expecting different results

i dont want to be that kind of person i see it everyday

so LORD guide my life and all my choices

let me NOT be deceived by the devil

or distracted from the path and plan you have for me and my family's life

I LOVE YOU LORD

Thursday, August 11, 2011

MOUNT CHARLESTON

So our trip to mount charleston was a major success

we did everything we set out to do and more.

we set up the tent by ourselves.

started our campfire,
cooked.

then just relaxed and continued to feed our fire all nite long...

the first night got A LOT colder than we expected lol

we started out all sprawled out in our own respective places

(the tent is HUGE 18' by 10') it sleeps 9 so there was PLENTY of room

by the time we woke up we were huddled together like roaches lol tryna stay warm!!

we had to drive home to get long pants, sweaters and jackets, then back to camp we went!

we started another fire, then we went in search of the waterfalls

we had to pick the shortest, easiest, trail to hike

cuz the baby, but she was READY

she loved it.

we played at the water for a little, hiked bac down, then drove back to our campsite...

built our night time fire and settled in for the night.

we collected alot of fire wood from the other camp ground

we became experts at wood collecting

it was very relaxing out there,

no cell fones, tv's, computers

facebooks, twitters, blogs, people knocking on the door

no distractions.

no time.

you wake up whenever your eyes open.

build your fire when you get cold,

eat when your hungry

you're not constantly rushing

you eat slower,

you laugh,

you listen to the trees rustle,

feel the breeze,

watch the bees buzz,

you walk to wherever the bathroom is,

you sight see.

play with the water.

look for fire wood.

sit on logs.

lay in the tent listening to nature.

get away from everything and everyone you know.

let the kids run rampant

scream as loud as they want.

get dirty

throw rocks,

play with bugs,

"ninja train" lol

it was a beautiful trip

and i plan on making it something annual if i can!!

we learned alot from our first family camping trip.

of course we CANNOT get the tent folded so it'll fit back in the tent bag! :(

its like a map, you unfold it, and can never get it back the same again

OH WELL

we learned how to dress,
how to make a GREAT long, lasting, burning fire

what to cook

how long it takes to boil water over an open fire.

what amil likes, and doesnt like lol

and all in all how to get along witout alot of the bullshit and just enjoy each other with no distractions

young people barely go outside anymore

i encourage everyone to take a camping trip if you can

you'll learn alot about yourself and about the other people you take on your camping trip.

im definitely glad to be back home.

sleeping on a bed, instead of a bed of rocks lol

but its definitely a trip to remember!!!

enjoy life everybody

dont let anybody,

SLOW YOU DOWN!

Monday, August 8, 2011

HOME AGAIN

WHEEEW i am tired you guys utterly and thoroughly tired

i had a BLAST but i am gonna have to sleep for 3 days just to recover.

the party was OFF the chain!

SERIOUSLY

it went until like 3 am lol

as always!!!

but it was the best, singing, drinking, family, extended fam, new fam, old fam, LMAO

friends, homies, baby daddies, everybody was there lol

we had a pinata! wit candy n kid stuff n also shots n lottery tickets,
one lucky person won 300$

(it wasnt me lol) dammit!

there was food everywhere,

music,

games, kids,

tattoos,

fish,

water fights,

karaoke,

n so much more i cant even manage to remember everything.

i met my dad ♥ he had us rollin one time

and my handsome smart brother :)

i gave him a great tattoo i should be posting pics soon up people ima gonna really try.

i did a nice chest piece, a pretty flower, a star, a nyc bronx piece, and a shark lol :)

i went hard i barely slept or ate while i was there. so i am definitely looking forward to sleeping and eating and just all in all lounging. i only have one day before we leave again!! for the camping trip...


anyways i will try to let my brain rest and fill everyone in on my wonderful weekend.

i got a beautiful ring from my dad, and it just so happens that i have a matching necklace and bracelet to match!!!

thats what u call fate!

destiny

GOD

i am SO SO SO SOS SO BLESSED beyond measure

thank you everybody for giving me a great time!!

I LOVE YOU ALL

and YOU TOO UNCLE BRIAN

GO BREAK SOME LEGS NOW LOL

LOVE YOU MOM
HAPPY FIFTY ITH birthday
may you have a lifetime of birthdays before you

i love you

and aunt valerie!!! it was super dope to see you after so long!

my family is dope

we cant be stopped or topped


Tuesday, August 2, 2011

GRANNYS birthday

so today was my granny's birthday,

i was sooo busy all day it almost slipped my mind...

but then maybe that was her spirit because im rarely as busy as i was today.

it was a good day for the most part until the boys wanted to play dodge ball and knock my picture off the wall!!!!

BOYS!!! what do you do with them??!?

im trippin that its august one time tho.

that fast!

it was JUST FEB!
i was just in a cast in febuary man
TIME FLIES

4 months and the year is OVER
2012 on everyones doorstep!

i told the homegurl when the kids move out the house ima turn they old room into a computer room LOL

im NOT pushing the kids out AT ALL lol (they could stay 4ever as long as they act right ;)

i just KNOW how fast time FLIES.

because my oldest is 12!!! YES 12!

that means 6 more years he's legally "grown"

for santana its 10

and amil 16

6years, 10 years, 16 years...

ima blink n all that shit finna be gone!!

a milisecond

its crazy how fast they grow up.

how can i be a mother of a 12 year old?

how i ask? (u ask?)

a MIRACLE!

something unexplainable

miracle

Sen is so smart.

he thinks and analyzes everything.

he takes alot of things too literally
he most likely gets that from me

very sensitive
DEFINITELY from me LOL

and i love him sooo much!!!

he makes me PROUD that he's my son!

Santana forever the clowner!
i swear hes gonna have class clown or class bully or both

he's a lover and a hater

very strong willed

a FIGHTER

his strength amazes me sometimes

i wonder if he knows how much i admire him.

i wish i could make everything BETTER for him
but i cant change the course GOD has set for him.

I KNOW HIS PLAN IS DIVINE.

LORD PROTECT HIM ALWAYS EVEN IN MY ABSENCE

Amil lol

LORD did you throw a handful and 3 halfs my way!!!

THANK YOU

i WOULD NOT have it any other way ♥

the love i have for her the bond we share is unmatched

except for the love she has for her brothers ♥♥

the 3 of them are in love and fight like siblings do

all the time

it'll make them closer as they grow older.

forming forever memories and links
ties to each other that will be hard to ever break

people ask me what i do when im up all alone.

i listen to my kids breathe

they have a rhythm

i wipe there foreheads

clean up the mess they "cleaned" before they went to bed...

laugh at whatever they might have "gotten over" on me

i pray for them

i cry

i laugh

i plan

i plan everyday for their lives

i havent thought about mine own life since august 17, 1999 around 3:45 am

the day SENIKAH was born :)

i worry about what kinda life they will live after i die.

when im gone

if theres an accident

i want them to be READY

i want them to know GOD

im thankful for today.

i pray for a 2moro

and i will continue to plan and live

live the life i want to

the life GOD whispers to me

the life HE leads me to

(speechless right now)

goodnight everybody

Monday, August 1, 2011

cali

i know i kinda been all over the place lately but i assure u there IS a method to my madness!!!

soooo without further a due...

WE ARE ON!
cali coming very very soon,
for the insiders, you should know exactly when im comin ;)

so it should be lots of fun!!
over a year since i saw my yeeples and i know they DEF miss the kids :)

so anyways i cant wait to party, eat, drink, smoke, WORK LOL

its gonna be a bash fo sho!!

meet my brother lol tatt my brother (hopefully :) )
and my dad... i wonder if he's into tatts lol

anyways new fam, old friends,
and whoever else that gets snagged in :)

got the camping trip on deck!!
this summer is gonna be one for the books!!!

stay safe,

RECYCLE
REDUCE
RE-USE!!!!

put on your sunblock

laugh with your kids

ENJOY AND LIVE LIFE

STAND FOR WHAT YOU LOVE, and LOVE WHAT YOU STAND FOR!!