Tuesday, June 7, 2011

whats happening?

i just talked to someone,
someone who i was so madly i love with
and my feeling right now, is
neutral


its such a surprise to me because i wanted this man with every breath in me

and now i dont know how i feel.

you know love is such a fragile thing
its like the rarest flower,
with the most tedious care instructions

so very fragile that if not taken care of in cautious, extreme measures

it will die

if you dont put half of your effort into the people that you "love"
your love is going to fade away into nothing

if you dont constantly work on communicating,
when you finally do open your mouth, its like you're speaking another language

without a connection
sexual connectivity also dies.

the entire system starts to shut down.


I am so pained right now, because i dont know where anything is going to go from here

the plan that was built got abandoned

now theres a big fat question mark on my face

because i dont know the answer
i cant predict the outcome

and im wondering where the friendship went

OR if we ever had one...

aside from us being attracted to each other

being able to laugh together

what else do we have?

lately we cant laugh with each other

we try to reach out but it is usually unsuccessful on both our ends honestly

it is TRULY a case of me being on Venus and him being on mars

we dont understand each other
we cant talk the same language

we just care about each other

I think about him ALL day LONG
i have to fight myself to NOT think about him

i have to call a friend
get on twitter

watch a movie
clean, cook
and u know when i finally talk to him i always think he's secretly laughing at me

its truly torturous
but im growing stronger because my feelings are dying

im so disconnected from everyone i used to know
everyone i knew in my old life

fool me once shame on you
fool me twice shame on ME

if everytime we talk
i end up in tears

it cant be right...

my heart is waving goodbye

i dont know what it is about this guy that makes me feel bad about myself.

but it HURTS

to have someone knock you down without them even trying
its disheartening

its scary

and i dont wanna be apart of it

r.i.p. ♥♥ ♥♥♥