Tuesday, June 28, 2011

if i could i would

If i could, i would let you have a relationship with her
I would trust you with my precious baby

but i cant trust you because everything you ever told me was a lie

you've SHOWN me you're not to be trusted.

Then if i could, i would still turn the other cheek,
hoping that you can at least value something very sacred... FAMILY

but then I remember how you abandoned your FAMILY, when we needed you MOST
when Granny was dying and we needed your strength...
instead we got left alone day in and day out.

at least we had Granny :) ♥ (a BLESSING)

If i could i would forget your discard for us back then.

But i just cant.

I cant forget wanting to take a shower after being left with the baby all by myself all day,
taking care of Granny.
Just needing a break and needing someone to be there for ME.
Someone to hold the childrens Mother together, Pat her on the back and be supportive.

But how indecent you were and are still.

If i could i would hear your plea for compassion.
But just like my cries fell on a deaf ear then,
so do your cries fall on my deaf ears now.

everything comes around full circle.

its in every Bible, Koran, Torah, etc. (please excuse any religious books I didnt name its not intentional just making a point)

I didnt create it,
I dont control it.

I just know how strong a force it is.

If i could i would wanna forgive and forget.

but thats hard because you cant forgive someone
when they're still lying and not even acknowledging that they played a role in the miserable life they are living.

or at least played a role in the rotten relationship you have now with your "family"?? if thats what you want to call her.

look in the mirror.
realize your role, because everyone else sees it.

they saw it then, and they continue to see it now,

complete disregard for anyone but yourself...

"get it from the county, the court, or c*3^*e... "

if I remember correctly...

and thats exactly what I intend to do.

Continue to do everything without you just like I have been for the past year and a half.

I havent skipped a beat and i wont start now.

If i could I would have more compassion.

If i could i would