Saturday, May 28, 2011

the simple truth

is every time we talk, there's an argument
tears are shed
we miscommunicate
neither of us cares about what the other is saying

we are living two totally separate lives

theres no way love can survive that

every time i try to reach out to you, you push me away

im just gonna take the easy way out

im just gonna walk away

i tried to fight for you
for us

but when i think about living the rest of my life like this
this very minute

wanting someone to talk to
searching for an open , kind, loving ear
a shoulder to cry on

i dont have it

everything i say and do is wrong to you

i feel like i disappoint you

whatever you're searching for im not it.

I dont blame you for any of the choices you have made in life.
we all have difficult life changing choices we have to deal with everyday

but i do blame you for being insensitive

you ARE an asshole

one of the biggest ones ive met (literally)

and although i love you

i have to love me too

i have to love myself enough to know that i dont deserve certain treatment.

there is a prince waiting for his princess somewhere

waiting for me to come along.

but i'll never make it to him
if im stuck under someone else,
someone who's treating me badly.

all i asked was a simple question...

the answer i got was way MORE than what i expected.

the frenemy in you hates me
but doesnt want to see me leave

i have to go now...

maybe after some serious serious time has past, a friendship seed may grow

maybe and maybe not

what i know

is the decision i have to make.
it gets easier with each passing day

with each argument

with every harsh word that is said...

i'll take it one step at a time...

loved ones you are welcome to assist me on this difficult journey

its not easy walking away,

but its necessary

Thursday, May 26, 2011

THIS womans worth♥

Pray To God You Can Cope
i Stand Outside
this Woman's Work
this Woman's World
oooh, It's Hard On The Man
now His Part Is Over
now Starts The Craft Of The Father
i Know You Have A Little Life In You Yet
i Know You Have A Lot Of Strength Left
i Know You Have A Little Life In You Yet
i Know You Have A Lot Of Strength Left
i Should Be Crying But I Just Can't Let It Show
i Should Be Hoping But I Can't Stop Thinking
all The Things I Should've Said That I Never Said
all The Things We Should Of Done That We Never Did
all The Things I Should've Given But I Didn't
oh Darling Make It Go
make It Go Away
give Me Them Back To Me
give That Little Kiss
give Me Your Hand
i Know You Have A Little Life In You Yet
i Know You Have A Little Strength Left
i Know You Have A Little Life In You Yet
i Know You Have A Little Strength Left
i Should Be Crying But I Just Can't Let It Show
i Should Be Hoping But I Can't Stop Thinking
of All The Things We Should've Said That Were Never Said
all The Things We Should've Done That We Never Did
all The Things That You Needed From Me
all The Things That That You Wanted From Me
all The Things I Should Of Given But I Didn't
oh Darling Make It Go Away
just Make It Go Away Now

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

now that weve cleared the air

it doesnt hurt so bad.
its easier to let go
or at least to understand how we got here
I wish i could change things
but GOD is in control of this

I wish you all the happiness in the world
I hope one day we find common ground

I hope i wont be bitter and hold on to the negative

Im very shocked
i didnt think it was gonna go down this way

but life is FULL of surprises

I still wish i could see you
i would fly you here
but i know better than that

it'll only hurt us both more in the end

look at these twisted, windy roads we take through life

all the roads end up at the exact same place
death

some take the high road,
some take the low road,
some take the safe road
some take the deathly one

and along our roads we meet people
share a piece of ourselves
open our hearts
open our lives

and we take these huge chances
on our friendships and relationships

sometimes we ruin them beyond repair
others maybe turn into something else
you never really know until you're there
in the moment...


so to you, i would say...
i never ignored your calls purposely,
ive never cheated on you

i love you

and the rest im sure you know ♥♥ ♥♥♥ j.j

i mean what i say and i say what i mean

thank you again for freeing me
liberating my heart

i will forever be praying for you
so when you feel something tugging at your heart strings
its ME

the important things

as you get older
looks start to fade
health is in and out
running the streets is no longer fashionable
and you're too old anyways to keep up
thats when you will start to see the important things in life
like how valuable conversation and understanding truly is
how a warm, home cooked meal is so much MORE than just cooking

how much you truly have to invest yourself in others in order to get anything back

you start to see that people
the world
the outsiders...

you see them for who they are

sometimes you have snakes in the grass right in front of you

the great thing is that everything that is done in the dark comes to LIGHT
the important things GOD always reveals

you start losing family members
loved ones
lovers
old friends

your circle becomes smaller and smaller your entire life
until one day its just you and whoever truly has your back

thats when you see who's REALLY down for you

when you're down on the ground and all your "friends" your "man" everyone and everything you THOUGHT you knew slaps you in the face
kicks you while you're down
lies to you
abandons you
thats when you see the important characteristics of the people around you

thats when you need to close the doors FAST

because its important to stand up for yourself
command your worth
i SWEAR if you ASK you WILL RECEIVE

HAVE FAITH

i asked GOD for a sign, and i got EXACTLY THAT

GOD may not be there when you want Him, but HE is ALWAYS on time
he always comes thru on the important things!

so when you're wondering why you arent moving forward in life
why you're unlucky
stressed
paranoid
unsure
its because you dont have GOD first in your life
in your every decision

if you keep GOD first everything will be taken care of for you
no questions asked!!!

the LORD provides everything we NEED! everything IMPORTANT
you wonder why gold chains and rims dont grow out of a seed

on your death bed they arent important

you wont get into heaven because you had a dope car
or scored with lots of women
broke alot of hearts

you get into heaven by having compassion
giving people a RIDE in whatever car you may have
giving counsel and solid advice to your fellow woman and man
breaking bad habits!

we as a people (myself included)
we take the easy way
we quit when it gets hard
we walk away from people that mean the world to us
people we would live for
people we would die for

those ARE the IMPORTANT things

yet we abandoned them for materialistic, flesh satisfying pleasures

you lose TRUE love to have lust temporarily
you lose a friendship

you lose it forever
never to be the same again
never to be repaired

life has NO DRESS REHEARSAL
you only get one shot
and alot of times you never get a chance to right your wrongs
or even to say im sorry

very important things that never get done
never even have a chance

I want to show my kids all the things that are IMPORTANT to ME
show them all the people that are IMPORTANT in MY LIFE

i want them to know me
the real me

we put on some many facades so many different faces and voices and personalities
few people even knowing the REAL you
taking the time to even care who you are

everyone is so self serving
so wrapped up in looking at their self they lose out on the rest of the world
and what it has to offer them

its correct when they say people are in your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime
our job is to determine which is which
letting go when we need to
taking the important lessons and values and good times you have with them
and moving forward with your life

if you are not constantly moving forward then life will eventually pass you by

you can never play time
time is playing YOU
constantly moving while some remain stagnant in their life

keep MOVING

reach for the stars.
you might not get one, but you wont end up with a hand full of dirt either.

I appreciate each and everyone of you who take the time to read my blog

sometimes i post up lyrics to songs that speak to me
that soothe me
heal me
move me

and other times i just want to get things off my chest and into the world

I share my opinion and i dont expect anyone to agree , or share it

this is simply my place to vent.
sometimes its the only person i have to talk to

and its IMPORTANT to me ♥

try to keep the important people and things surrounding you at all times
because life is so fragile
so very short and untimley
relish in every minute of it if you can
its important ♥



Tuesday, May 24, 2011

everybody knows

It gets harder every day, but I can’t seem to shake the pain
I’m trying to find the words to say, please stay
It’s written all over my face, I can’t
Function the same when you’re not here
I’m calling your name but no one’s there
And I hope one day you’ll see nobody has it easy,
I still can’t believe you found somebody new
But I wish you the best, I guess.
‘Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows
How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt
We’ve heard it all before, that everybody knows
Just how to make it right, I wish we gave it one more try
One more try
One more try
'Cause everybody knows, but nobody really knows

I don’t care what the people say
They brought it all in anyway
Baby don’t fill up your head with he-said, she-said
It seems like you just don’t know
The radio’s on, you're tuning me out,
I’m trying to speak, you’re turning me down

And I hope one day you’ll see nobody has it easy,
I still can’t believe you found somebody new
But I wish you the best, I guess.
‘Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows
How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt
We’ve heard it all before, that everybody knows
Just how to make it right, I wish we gave it one more try
One more try
One more try
One more try
‘Cause everybody knows, but nobody really knows

Oh I wish you’d understand
Oh, just an ordinary man
Wish that we had known
Everybody knows, but nobody really knows
And I know one day you’ll see, nobody has it easy
I still can’t believe you found somebody new
I wish you the best, I guess.

‘Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows
How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt
We’ve heard it all before, that everybody knows
Just how to make it right, I wish we gave it one more try
One more try
One more try
One more try
‘Cause everybody knows, but nobody really knows

Monday, May 23, 2011

half crazy

Never thought that we would ever be more than friends
Now I'm all confused cause for you I have deeper feelings
We both thought it was cool to cross the line
And I was convinced it would be alright
Now things are strange, nothings the same
And really I just want my friend back

And my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone (oh can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on (holding on)
Said my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone (can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on (yeah)

I'd hate walk away from you as if this never existed
Cause when we kissed the moment after I looked at you different
Lately I gotta watch what I say
Cause you take things personally nowadays
You used to laugh now you get mad
Damn I just want my friend back

And my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone (oh can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on (holding on)
Said my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone (can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on

oh oh oh oh oh yeah
What happened to the one I used to know (oh yeah yeah)
The one I used to laugh and joke with
The one I used to tell all my secrets
We used to chill and be down for whatever whenever together yeah

And my mind's gone half crazy (oh) cause I can't leave you alone (I'm going half crazy baby)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me (oh) holding on (over you)
Said my mind's gone half crazy (yeah) cause I can't leave you alone (and I just don't know)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on (said I just don't know what to do now)
we used to chill (yeah) we used to hang
we used to do we used to do some many things together (yeah)
yeah yeah yeah yeah
oh oh
yeah
oh oh oh

put that woman first

If they gleam in the sun
while they spin and they fit on my truck then {I could remember}
And if it came in the sack
No stems no seeds in the bag then {I could remember}

And if they drip from my wrist and they look like they shine like new then {I
could remember}
But Ohhh girl
I forgot to be your lover

If it wasn't for the 9 to 5
Double-up overtime then { I could remember}
If it wasn't for the Sunday all star
weekend games girl {I could remember}

And if it wasn't for the dough
Gettin fifty g's a show girl ya know that {I could remember}
But silly me, silly me
Ohhh
Tell me how could I ever forget to be your lover

Now I realize that you need love too (Oh, yeah)
Spend my life makin' up to you
Oh, girl
Oh, I forgot to be your lover

When she starts bringin’ up old dirt
And the fights keep getting worse (Oh, brother)
Findin’ numbers in her purse
Better put that woman first (Yeah)

And you notice she ain’t wearin’ her ring (Oh, no)
When she starts playin’ little games
Comin’ in late from work
You better put that woman first

If it wasn't for the make up on my shirt
Still out there chasin' skirts then {I could remember}
And if it wasn't for that fight last night
You smashin out my headlights then { I could remember}

If it wasn't for parole
Steady duckin' my P O girl you know { I could remember}
But silly me, silly me, babe
Tell me how could I ever forget to be your lover

Now I realize that you need love too
Spend my life makin' up to you
Oh, girl
Oh, I forgot to be your lover

When she starts bringin’ up old dirt (Bringin’ up old
shhhh)
And the fights keep getting worse
(Oh...oh...oh...oh...)
Findin’ numbers in her purse (I’m tellin’ you,
brother)
Better put that woman first (You better put your woman
first

And you notice she ain’t wearin’ her ring (Oh, yeah)
When she starts playin’ little games (I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m
tellin’ you, brother)
Comin’ in late from work
You better put that woman first (Put that woman first)

{So many times} Actin like it wasn't really nothin'
{So many ways} Kept to myself, always runnin’
{So many games} All that I sin
{So many words} I need you to stay
{Always came first} Even though sometimes fallin’
second
{Came down to love} You know I had to win the last race
{Spend some time} Put in some work
{And for better or worse} Always put that woman first

When she starts bringin’ up old dirt
And the fights keep getting worse (Gettin’ worse)
Findin’ numbers in her purse (In her purse)
Better put that woman first (Put that woman first)

And you notice she ain’t wearin’ her ring (Ooh, yeah)
When she starts playin’ little games (Her little
games)
Comin’ in late from work (I’mma say it again)
You better put that woman first (Put that woman, put that woman first)

When she starts bringin’ up old dirt
And the fights keep getting worse (She’s gonna leave
you)
Findin’ numbers in her purse
Better put that woman first (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

And you notice she ain’t wearin’ her ring (Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah)
When she starts playin’ little games (Yeah, yeah)
Comin’ in late from work
You better put that woman first

cant let go

Why must they try to tear down my house
When they know it's made from love
And they could never stand in my way
We made a vow to love through it all, we are one
And no one has the right to tear my love down

No matter what the people say, I'm gonna love you anyway
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we fuss or fight, try 'til we get it right
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we disagree, you can put it all on me
You are my life, I can't let go
I can't, I can't let you go

How dare they say that a love like ours won't last?
God made no mistakes when He sheltered me with your heart
There's no safer place than to be in love
And here I will stand and there ain't never
Ain't gonna never ever leave you alone

No matter what the people say, I'm gonna love you anyway
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we fuss or fight, try 'til we get it right
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we disagree, you can put it all on me
You are my life, I can't let go
I can't, I can't let you go

All that I know now is to give you all of me
And no matter how long I take
And every part of me belongs to your love
Help me, help me

No matter what the people say, I'm gonna love you anyway
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we fuss or fight, try 'til we get it right
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we disagree, you can put it all on me
You are my life, I can't let go
I can't, I can't let you go

No matter what the people say
People say
No matter what the people say

Sunday, May 22, 2011

phone cleaning time

oh YES FOLKS!!!!
its that time of year spring cleaning, and the fone
DEF needs to be cleaned out.

if u want to eliminate drama from your life,
start by eliminating it from your fone!

This too shall pass

This Too Shall Pass

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be-

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me-

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too-

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains

That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear-
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

...Helen Steiner Rice


Saturday, May 21, 2011

IT HURTS LIKE HELL

Love was always supposed to be
Something wonderful to me
To watch it grow inside yourself
To feel your heart beside itself

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(When you know you've given all you can)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(You do your best but it's still much too sad)
Sometimes the pain is just too much, oh oh
And it hurts like hell, that's the way it feels

True love, it has no hiding place
It's not something you just put away
It's always there inside of you
Oh, and it shows in everything you do

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(When you know you've given it your best)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(You feel a thousand miles from happiness)
Sometimes the pain is just too much, oh oh oh
And it hurts like hell, that's the way it feels

Oh oh, oh oh
Here we are, the two of us
So full of love, so little trust
But dying for some tenderness
Ohh, but too afraid to take the step

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(When you know what it can put you through)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(There's nothing funny if it's killing you)
Sometimes the pain is just too much
And it hurts like hell, that's the way it feels

I know if there is any chance
For us to find our happiness
We've got to learn to let it go
Ohh, forget all the pain we know

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(Sometimes it hurts so bad, baby)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(Sometimes it hurts to even laugh, oh)
And it hurts like hell, that's the way
Oh baby, that's the way it feels
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah

Friday, May 20, 2011

MY worth!!!

You could buy me diamonds
You could buy me pearls
Take me on a cruise around the world
Baby, you know I'm worth it

Dinner lit by candles
Run my bubble bath
Make love tenderly to last and last
Baby, you know I'm worth it

Wanna please, wanna keep
Wanna treat your woman right
Not just dough, better show
That you know she is worth your time

You will lose if you choose
To refuse to put her first
She will and she can
Find a man who knows her worth

'Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always come first
And a real man just can't deny a womans worth

If you treat me fairly
I'll give you all my goods
Treat you like a real woman should
Baby, I know you're worth it

If you never play me
Promise not to bluff
I'll hold it down when shit gets rough
'Cuz baby, I know you're worth it

She walks the mile, makes you smile
All the while being true
Don't take for granted
The passion that she has for you

You will lose if you choose
To refuse to put her first
She will and she can
Find a man who knows her worth, ooh

'Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a womans worth

No need to read between the lines spelled out for you
Just hear this song 'cuz you can't go wrong when you value
A womans worth
(Womans, womans, womans)

'Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a womans worth

'Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a womans worth

Thursday, May 19, 2011

relief

its a relief not to have a question mark plastered across my face anymore
not knowing
wondering
all i wanted to do was know,
and now i do

I wish you could have told me instead of me finding out the way I did
but GOD works in mysterious ways

I am just following the road laid before me

at least I have my answer which is all I EVER wanted anyway
was the truth.

So thank you for finally freeing me.

its a gift you will never get back.

I say goodbye to you
forget everything Ive ever said to you
forget you
forget the memories

and make new ones :)
LASTING ONES ♥

I sigh
I grieve
and i cry through my relief
and i release
for my relief

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

do you feel me??

Wish I could see through
See deep into you
And know what you're thinking now
And if I were to need it
I need some kind of sign
Let me know cause I can't read your mind

Are you in?
Or am I in this on my own?
I need some clue from you
Let me know babe

[CHORUS]
Do you feel me?
Do you read me?
Tell me am I gettin through to you
I wanna know,
are you with me?
Are you listening?
Baby, is my message gettin through?
Do you feel me baby, oh babe, cause I can feel you

You play it so cool
Won't let nothin' show through
Won't show what you're feeling no, no
And you like to keep keepin' me
Keeping me here in the dark
And I can't see through into your heart
Let me in, in on this mystery
Cause I just can't stay in this guessing game

[CHORUS]

And don't keep me hanging on the line, baby
Tell me if you want me
And if you don't just let me know!!!
Just answer one question
Don't keep me here guessing
Tell me now

insider stuff

for THOSE WHO ARE IN THE LOOP
you all know that i recently had a super dooper life changing secret dropped on me

you also know my sense of relief.

I can FINALLY put my past behind me, and move FORWARD!!!

Its been a LONG time coming.

I STILL have no idea what to expect.

Im just gonna keep an open mind about everything.

GOD IS STILL SO GOOD!!

even when I dont understand how he works!!

theres alot of doors that are being closed from my old life
and so many new ones rapidly appearing out of nowhere :)

so many SURPRISES!!

I THANK GOD everyday for what He gives me.
for forgiving a sinner like me,
like all of us...

for giving His ONLY SON...

such ♥

for the people that are inside the loop, thank you for being there for me when I needed you

not only when it was convenient for you.
Its the times like that, that im indebted to you.
I can only hope you enjoy my new life along with me.

I appreciate you♥

Contagious

It's 2 a.m, I'm just gettin' in, 'bout to check my message
No one has called but my homies and some bill collectors
Celluler rings, somebody wants to borrow money
I two way her, she don't hit me back, somethin' is funny

So I called her mother's house
And asked her had she seen my baby
Roll my 6 around, lookin for that missin' lady
Got back in turned the TV on and caught the news
And I put my hand on my head 'cause I'm so confused

And then I turned the TV down
'Cause I thought I heard a squeaky sound
Somethings goin' on upstairs, yeah
'Cause I know nobody else lives here


As I get closer to the stair ways, all I hear
And then I hear my Baby's voice, in my ear
Screamin' out

You're contagious, touch me, baby
Give me what you got
And a man say
Sexy lady, drive me crazy, drive me wild
I just can't believe this shit

I ran downstairs lookin' the closet lookin' for that who
Said a prayer 'cause only God knows what I'm gonna do
What I saw was enough to drive a preacher wild
I'm in the hall contemplatin' now in my own damn house
Who would have thought she was creepin' with another man
The down low happened to me all over again

And then I turned the TV down
'Cause I know I heard a squeaky sound
Somethin' goin' on upstairs, yeah
'Cause I know that no one else lives here

As I get closer to the stair ways, all I hear
And then I hear my baby's voice in my ear
Screamin' out

You're contagious, touch me, baby
Give me what you got
Sexy lady, drive me crazy, drive me wild
I can't believe this shit

What the hell is goin' on
Between the sheets in my home?
Baby, wait let me explain
Before you start to point your cane

Girl, I'm about to have a fit
Oh, it's about to be some shit
How did I get into this?
Should've never came home with this bitch

You low down dirty woman
Go back to where you come from
But baby, wait
But wait my ass
Hit the streets, yo ass is grass

Now, Mr Biggs before ya done
Wait, how you know my name son?
Honey, wait I was gonna tell you
Move this cat looks real familiar

Now, don't I know you from somewhere a long time ago
No, No, I don't think so
Yeah, yeah, I feel I know you brother very well
No, no you mistaking me for somebody else

Frank
Shut up, can't you see two men are talkin'?
But
But I Thought I told your ass to get the walkin'
Now, I think you'll better leave this place
'Cause I'm about to catch a case

You're contagious, touch me, baby
Give me what you got
Whoa, that's what she said
Sexy lady, drive me crazy, drive me wild

And then he replied
You're contagious, touch me, baby
Give me what you got
Sexy lady, drive me crazy, drive me wild, oh yeah

BE AWARE

I wanted to post up a blog about our serious landfill problem.
we are running out of space to put our trash people and there isnt any more room to spare.

are you aware that when the trash leaves our houses and dumpsters it gets dumped in some landfill where it just sits! Eventually it may get burned and buried underground sealed in a plastic "Tupperware" sealed kind of thing., but even still we only have so much room for that.

I am an avid re cycler, re user, thrift storer etc etc.

there any many many ways to help our planet.

RECYCLE
and that doesnt always necessarily mean sorting your plastics, glasses, and cans.

it also can mean re using things after their initial use.
turn that old milk gallon into a bird feeder. etc.

I personally have been shredding all my papers and old mail and using them for my cats litter. DOUBLE use! instead of throwing all that paper away, cutting down more trees.

We can all still be consumers, but you have to watch they way you buy.
and WHERE you buy.

anyways I just wanted to speak on an issue that is important to me.
I instill it in my kids.
and I hope the good word lands on a patient ear :)

HAPPY RECYCLING PEOPLE

Monday, May 16, 2011

in my life



[Chorus]
If you looked in my life
And see what I've seen...
If you looked in my life
And see what I've seen...
[Repeat]

[Verse 1]
Life can be only what you make it
When you're feelin down
You should never fake it
Say what's on your mind
And you'll find in time
That all the negative energy
It would all cease

And you'll be at peace with yourself
You won't really need no one else
Except for the man up above
Because He'll give you love

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Take your time
Baby don't you rush a thing
Don't you know, I know
We all are struggling
I know it is hard
But we will get by
And if you don't believe in me
Just believe in "He"

Cause He'll give you peace of mind
Yes He will
And you'll see the sunshine
For real, yes you would
And you'll get to free your mind
And things will turn out fine
Oh, I know that things will turn out fine
Yes they would, yes they would

[Chorus]

All you gotta do is take your time,
One day at a time
It's all on you
what you gonna do?

Oh you will see I'm so down and out
Cryin' every day
Don't know what to do or to say

Friday, May 13, 2011

FRIDAY the 13th

today was a good day,
i worked alot as i have been doin alot lately...
not complaining... im jus sayin
.... Im very pleased with my apartment lately.
the transformation begins!
transforming thru CHRIST

i even think im almost to the point where im might be done with my tattoos.
(not tattooing, but me getting them)

(i know that sentence has a 'think', 'almost', and 'might' in it... but give me a break!)

i have LEARNED SOOOOO much over these past couple of weeks man
more than i could have ever imagined in a lifetime!
Im sharing it with people that are in my life

its changing me...
ive been waiting along time for something like this.
its scary
im unsure about all of it

i dont have any answers
i dont even have any expectations.
i have no idea what tomorrow is gonna hold.

i think GOD is wanting me to work on my patience, and faith

knowing everything is goin to be alright

i thank HIM today and everyday
im gonna work on myself as hard as i can
and stay focused!


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A rose is still a rose

Listen Dear I realize that youve been hurt, deep
becuz ive been there
but regardless to who, what, why, when and where
were all precious in HIS sight
and a ROSE is still and always will be a ROSE


There was a rose I knew, I met her once or twice before
She was a pretty sweet thing, not the least bit insecure
Then you came with your slick game and played with her youth
Ashamed of the way you lied, played with the truth, hey, hey

Mmm, she never knew what hit her
Steal her honey, then forget her
A rose
She wears a flower
Tryin’ to forget about you

‘Cause a rose is still a rose
Baby, girl, you’re still a flower
He can’t lead you and then take you
Make you and then break you
Darlin’, you hold the power

Now believe me when I tell you that I’ve been hurt myself
When he tells you that he loves you and sees nobody else
And now you’re so tough tryin’ to wear tight clothes and things
Tossin’ and flossin’, tryin’ to fill the void heartbreak brings

Oh…oh…yeah
When she faces the mirror, yeah
She’s cryin’, you can’t hear her
Now the rose is still a rose
She wears a flower, tryin’ to forget about you

‘Cause a rose is still a rose
Baby, girl, you’re still a flower
He can’t lead you and then take you
Make you and then break you
Baby, girl, you hold the power

See a rose is still a rose
Baby, girl, you’re still a flower
He can’t lead you and then take you
Make you and then break you
Darlin’, you hold the power

Let your life be in the sunshine
Not the darkness of your sorrow
You may see your lost today
but new light will come tomorrow

Tough to be, but life ain’t over
Just because your man is gone
Girl, love yourself and love to love
‘Cause without him your life goes on
Without him your life goes on
Without him your life goes on

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

my world upside down

topsy turby
upside down
eternal frown

LORD i asked you for a sign... I asked you to BEAT me over the head with it.

I HEAR YOUR ANSWER
now help me to let go.

help me to deal with all the new life changes that have been thrown at me

i thought i didnt know myself before... NOW things are totally unpredictable

i have no idea what my next move is going to be.

i dont know the people around me.

i dont feel appreciated

but i know its all for a reason GOD i do trust you
i just want help in letting go of all of it.

let me float thru this upside down palace
mysterious characters


yet when i reflect on so many others that i have lost

it still makes me beg for a tommorow
beg for the struggle of life rather than lay down and die

i wont do that

maybe it just feels upside down because im finally goin in the right direction

thats funny

life is a straight acid TRIP man
seriously

i couldnt have WRITTEN a better story

one day im goin to write my life
a book ;)

like SOOOOO many have asked me to...
and maybe then and ONLY then will anyone know the REAL me.

someone has to know my story
even if its only one person

the real me in the upside down town
setting things straight

there is gonna be so many mad people LOL
OH WELL
lifes a bitch then u die
i can give a fuc about what ANYBODY has to say about me

its gonna be a moment to remember.
a day when everyone elses life take that wild turn
a turn for the worst??

who knows

who cares

no one cares about anybody else anymore remember?

Monday, May 9, 2011

never KNEW i needed

for the way you changed my plans
for being the perfect distraction
for the way you took the idea that i have
of everything that i wanted to have
and made me see there was something missing

for the ending of my first begin
(ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
and for the rare and unexpected friend
(ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
for the way you're something that i never choose
but at the same time something i don't wanna lose
and never wanna be without ever again (oh oh)

you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it's so clear i need you here always

my accidental happily (ever after) (oh oh oh)
the way you smile and how you comfort me (with your laughter)
i must admit you were not a part of my book
but now if you open it up and take a look
you're the beginning and the end of every chapter (oh oh)

you're the best thing i never knew i needed (oh)
so when you were here i had no idea

you're the best thing i never knew i needed (that i needed)
so now it's so clear i need you here always

who knew that I could be here (who knew that i could be here oh oh)
so unexpectedly (so unexpectedly oh oh)
undeniablely happy (hey)
said with you right here, right here next to me (oh)

girl you're the..
you're the best thing i never knew i needed (said i needed oh oh)
so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed (needed oh)
so now it's so clear i need you here always
baby baby
now it's so clear i need you here always

Sunday, May 8, 2011

WASTE OF TIME

Its a waste of time getting mad at you
thinking about you
and why you do some of the things you do and dont do

how hurtful you can be

how i wish i could hurt you

i cant do it anymore

you really really let me down this time
and i will never forget it.

i dont think i wanna know you anymore.

take the pictures down
the sign
the cards

i thought this time would be different too

i guess we just wasted each others time

BEAUTIFUL

The time is right
I'm gonna pack my bags
And take that journey down the road
Cause over the mountain I see the bright sun shinning
And I want to live inside the glow
Yeah

I wanna go to place where I am nothing and everything
That exists between here and nowhere
I wanna go to a place where time has no consequences oh yeah
The sky opens to my prayers

I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,

Please understand that it's not that I don't care
But right know these walls are closing in on me
I love you more than I love life itself

But I need to find a place were I can breathe
I can breathe
I wanna go to place were I can hold the intangible
And let go of the pain with all my might

I wanna go to a place where I am suspended in ecstasy
Some where between dark and light
Where wrong becomes right

I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,

Saturday, May 7, 2011

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

first i wanna say happy mothers day to ALL the mom's out there.
the single moms, the hard working married moms, the unappreciated moms out there
ALL of you make the world go round...
being a parent is NOT easy.
theres no instruction manual telling you how to do things right
everyone has bad advice to give you LOL'
then we take the worst advice out of all of it and follow that...

anyways just taking a moment to thank you and pat you on the back because no one else does.

This mothers day is gonna be very special for me.
im going to give myself the best gift i can give me...

i dont have to tell you what it is.
eventually everyone will see it, feel it...

this year is all about HAPPINESS
creating it for MYSELF if no one else will give it to me...

im done with waiting
im over the waiting game

im taking life by the reins
commanding it

OWNING IT
(get it gurl) lol

anyways happy mothers day to everyone
OWN your glory!!
give praise to GOD

and have the BEST mothers day you can possibly give to YOURSELF

because if you wait on others to give you what you deserve you may never get it

learn from your mistakes ladies!!!!!
stop growing older making the same mistakes thru out your life

i know its hard but its POSSIBLE!!!

never depend on a man...

children always need their mother...

never take your kids for granted because they grow up FAST!!
(BLINK) -> GROWN

im glad i'll be a mother until the day i die :)
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND MOTHERS
and
REST IN PEACE
to the most loving, dedicated, remarkable, kind, caring, generous, beautiful woman that i ever had the honor of knowing in my life
my GRANNY!!! ♥♥♥
there isnt ONE SINGLE DAY that goes by that i dont miss you
i hear your voice
your laugh
u callin me punkin
singin me to sleep, with my old raggedy bear
i miss you so MUCH u have absolutely no idea.

i miss how you would drive thru hell or high water to come visit me in all the various states i've lived in :)
ROAD TRIIIIIIIIIIIP
it was nothin for u to come out and see me :)
i miss that granny.
remember u n aunt ruthy got into a car accident tryna come to see me in vegas ???
and made it too!!!
shole did!!!!
pulled up in a rental and sorted out the details when she got back home, she didnt CANCEL her trip!!!
NO that wouldve been unheard of...
granny you were so down for me
i dont know if i'll ever have another BEST FRIEND like you
i just hope your spirit lingers around me all day long :)

I LOVE YOU...
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY GRANNY
♥SUPER MOM

Friday, May 6, 2011

so excited

about all the changes ive made in my life thus far.
even my apartment feels brand new

its amazing what a couple pieces of new furniture and a new outlook can do for you
im ready for my new life :)

thanking JESUS every step of the way.

amazed at how far he's brought me.
how many lessons he managed to teach me without breaking me

how he never let the devil win

im happy with life right now.
im waiting for my ship to pull in

my precious cargo
im preparing for summertime
pools, bar b ques...
sleeping in late lol (i already do that ;)

living in Lifes pleasures.
GODs gifts

GOD kissed me this morning :)
told me everything is gonna be okay
to enjoy myself
and to TRUST

so im working on that.
trusting
trusting in the LORD
trusting in ME
my LOVED ones

thank you everyone
who take the time to be there for me.
everyday
even when theyre tired
overworked
underpaid
under appreciated

I LOVE YOU
and i'll never forget you in my book of adventures
i"ll carry you all with me

Thursday, May 5, 2011

6 8 12


Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe in nothing like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

1 It's been six months eight days twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

Repeat 1

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

Repeat 1

Sing it for me
Ooh, ooh

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Halo

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
Halo, halo

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

♥Love♥

Love
So many things I've got to tell you
But I'm afraid I don't know how
Cause there's a possibility
You'll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From then on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change cause

Chorus:
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first

Verse 2:
Many days I've longed for you
Wanting you
Hoping for the chance to get to know you
Longing for your kiss
For your touch, your feel, your Presence
Many nights I've cried from the things you do
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you
I know that you're real
With no doubts and no fears
And no questions

Chorus:
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first

Verse 3:
At first you didn't mean that much to me
But now I know that you're all I need
The world looks so brand new to me
Now that I found love
Everyday I live for you
And everything that I do
I do it for you
What I say is how I feel so believe it's true
You got to know I'm true

Chorus(x2):
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first

Ordinary People

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

Monday, May 2, 2011

Never Love Again

How could i ever hide what I felt
How could you ever say you never knew
all along it was there on my mind in my heart, it was the feeling, i was in love.
you act as if you never knew my name, how could you treasure puttin me through so much pain, like a
child in the womb i needed you to give me love I miss that feeling of being loved

[Chorus]
How could I ever love again
how could I start to love again
After you broke me down, its hard to trust that feeling, to fall in love again

[Verse 2]
A (wo)man dont usually fall no more then twice and if (s)he does you'll never know cause (s)he wont say,
for the fear of being fooled taken twice by the heart, it's in his(her) nature, to be afraid, (s)he starts to
wonder if its really right, to let his(her) past take control of his(her) life, maybe I'll run into hope, someone
thats right for me, and she'll love freely and fall in love again

[Chorus]

Love
You know what they say about a (wo)man its hard for him(her) to fall in love
Love
Once hurt (s)he'll never give in its hard for him(her) to trust
Love
Bowing down it was hard to cope, when ya love broke down on me it was hard for me to trust again

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Must be nice

Must be nice
Having someone who understands the life you live
Must be nice
Having someone who's slow to take and quick to give

Must be nice
Having someone who sticks around when the rough times get thick
Someone who's smile is bright enough
To make the projects feel like a mansion

Must be nice
Having someone who loves you despite your faults
Must be nice
Having someone who talks the talk but also walks the walk

Must be nice
Having someone who understands that a thug has feelings too
Someone who loves you for sho'
You just remember to never let 'em go

Even when your hustling days are gone
She'll be by your side still holding on
Even when those 20's stop spinning
And all those gold-digging women disappear, she'll still be here

Must be nice
Having someone you can come home to from a long day of work
Must be nice
Having someone you don't have to show they know exactly where it hurts

Must be nice
Having someone who trusts you despite what they've heard
Someone as mighty as a lion but still as gentle as a bluebird

Must be nice
Having someone you don't have to tell you don't want to be alone
Must be nice
Having someone you can grow old with until God calls y'all home

Must be nice
Having someone who understands that a thug has feelings too
Someone who loves you for sho'
You never let 'em go

Even when your hustling days are gone
She'll be by your side still holding on
Even when those 20's stop spinning
And all those gold-digging women disappear, she'll still be here