Saturday, April 9, 2011

the great war

there's a war that is goin on.
not in japan, egypt, africa...
there is war and struggle everywhere
but the GREAT war
is the struggle we have inside of us

the inner struggles we face everyday

we are usually our own worst enemies
(no surprise)

we doubt ourselves
we cheat ourselves
we lie to ourselves

then in the end you look back and say "i remember when i really messed that one up...
and i remember what i learned from it"

"if i knew then what i know now..."
etc etc

its not set up to be like that


life isnt supposed to be predictable like that

and rightfully so
i dont 'DO' predictable

my war is exciting
its unpredictable
its colorful
its wishy washy

my war is just like me

if you cant survive this war
then the war wins

i wonder to myself all the time who can conquer this war...

who is man enough (besides JESUS himself)
besides the LORD himself is there any man that can tolerate me?

maybe not

not likely... lol
so what?

its just me and my war
fighting it out
licking the flesh wounds
still learning
still growing
still loving

loving the war

my war keeps me company

isnt that funny?

my war brings me so much grief yet so much life at the same time
ive been at war since i was 7 years old

for my freedom

confused by my turmoil i try to sort through everyday

i dont even know who i am without the tears
without the doubt

without the hurt

ive been at war with myself since i was 7 years old

my war defines me

my war wanted to name me but i changed that name

and then i changed it again.

whats sad is that anyone who wants to share a piece of me, eventually always meets my war

i try to keep it away from the people i love

i tell them LEAVE ME ALONE!@!!!!

but what im really telling, is my war not to harm them

i only need to be affected by my war

why do you need to cry to? y do u need to suffer with me?

why take on my war?

it is mine
it was given to me
i'll never know why

i'll never understand

take me as i am

leave me be

me and my great war